42. Unpacking TikTok’s situationship behaviours
As you may know, as of January 19th TikTok was set to be banned to over 170 million users in the US indefinitely due to “national security and user privacy”. My basic background understanding: ByteDance LTD owns TikTok whereas Meta, with Mark Zuckerberg as its CEO, runs the other big ones including Facebook and Instagram. With Instagram anticipated to be one of the most used and accessible apps instead of TikTok for Americans, not only was it going to get an influx of users, it was soon to be grossly under-monitored for “free speech” reasons. Following suit after X (RIP Twitter @ElonMusk), both major social media companies have millions of dollars to throw around much like Donald Trump, who continues his quest to MAGA by way of social media censorship.
For much better background I encourage you to listen to Hannah Ferguson at Cheek Media Co or read The Daily Aus’s politics section because it’s their fortè and they do a great job at it.
America’s inability to access the app left its major creators emotional and scrambling as they were blocked from potentially their main source of employment. What once was to be thought of as an indefinite amount of time, turned out to be a mere 12 hours before it was reinstated.
The overall mellow tone of creators' “goodbye for now, thank you for everything, follow me on Instagram” videos reminded me a whole lot of something: the early stages of dating. Bear with me, I have noticed some parallels. My job (self-delegated task) is to see and report on the humorous side of things.
Picture this: it’s been less than 24 hours since the date and my hope that he will text me back is whittling away. I stare in the mirror, confused and worried for our future. I set up my camera on FaceTime to a friend, thanking them for their support over this journey. I hold back tears as I realise the financial impact this will have on me; I’ll have to wait until the next date to get a free drink or two*. Not to mention our emotional connection because I overshared on date one.
I proceed to accidentally spend countless hours lying in bed thinking about our time (doom-scrolling my mind) and remembering the times we laughed and bonded over our unique humour (saving videos of Veronika and Kyle to rewatch). Things were good enough to say yes to a weeknight arcade date. Yet, (like the TikTok ban) the end was nigh. One of us would leave feeling used and deceived (the app and its users). Was it all just too good to be true?
I look back on our previous messages, reassuring myself that our kinship and connection weren’t all made up in my head (like parasocial relationships with our favourite creators). I smile at the meme he sent about the fully conscious baby, and I fantasise about how smart our children will be (delusion). Then I came across the text where he said something misogynistic and I wince at the thought of seeing him again (repulsion). This switching between moods so quickly can’t be good for my brain, or my mental health. I’ve barely processed one thought before I am catapulted to the next (shortened attention span and abrupt change around every corner on TikTok).
Wow, I might have reflected too deeply, deciphering his responses and overthinking my own. I’m reaching the ‘self-diagnosing myself with a type of attachment style or co-dependency regardless of who I was before I met you’ stage of this situation (seriously, we need to stop with the TikTok diagnoses).
Once it is all ending, I attempt to find closure before we move on to the next thing. I will send you a gracious goodbye and thank you text and keep it honest (creators all week spoke their truths) before their exit from the app). I FaceTime my friend again, seeking notes on what we have learnt from this experience (other than how to make vodka pasta).
After this journey of risk-taking, outfit planning, forging connections and creating a foundation for a future of great things, the self-reflection period ends with a sense of sadness yet gratitude for what I learnt about myself and how to plan for uncommitted people in the future. All of this to receive a text from them 12 hours later. And after all that, it’s like nothing ever happened.
*This is not strictly true but we are not getting into it today.
