This Week’s Say

Did you just hear that screaming woman? The squeal from a distance? It’s high-pitched enough to assume it’s the same one you heard behind you at the Dua Lipa concert last week or the year before at the Eras Tour. Yes, the scream belongs to yours truly. This time, ‘twas my response to seeing a happy couple holding hands at the traffic lights while my hands grasped my increasingly heavy groceries and my will to live.

Don’t let the shriek fool you; I am a fiend for a great love story, song and rom-com. I strive to support my friends’ healthy relationships like I am fending a “Best Third Wheel” championship title. I’ve been known to appreciate the love shared between unknown couples on the street, it’s just not as common nowadays. Variables contributing to my response include the mood I am in and how many people I matched with on Hinge that week.

Many of the twenty-something single women in my life are comfortable in their solitude, empowered in their friendships and busy enough without having to schedule time to nurture a romantic connection with someone. When I find myself throwing my phone across my room at the end of another failed “talking stage”, I don’t know what I would do without these women.

Media and pop culture are partially to blame, of course. Cult classics like Grease and Happy Days had me thinking there was just first, second and third base to worry about during the throes of courtship. Nowadays, I have to question their maturity if they haven’t asked for my number as the preferred contact method after a few days of texting in-app. On the contrary, I wonder if they are too old to be asking for my Instagram after a week of banter about The Office being better than Parks and Recreation.

Amidst my frustration, I remind myself the reason for my existence on the app and why I want to go on dates: a desire for connection. Where else can I find that in my life? In my friendships. Yes, I’ll welcome a romantic pursuit where it feels right, but until then, spending time with my friends and having the space to be there for them more than I could with a romantic preoccupation brings me a sense of fulfilment I could only find in those relationships. Now that’s something to scream about.