30. Hi, please like me

Adulthood is the first time we have to consider the logistics of making friends. What once was an automatic process originating from being sat together according to the class seating plan, is now something we must think outside the box to achieve.

I hate to bring it up, but the dreaded pandemic resulted in a lot of us coming out the other side with a dose of social anxiety and yearning for the connections we would’ve, could’ve or should’ve made in that time. What a drag. I made a handful of great friends, some I consider my closest, but none of which resulted from attending classes. 

At university, my hopeful eyes saw prospective friends sit next to me for a couple of weeks in class before they opted for online classes for the rest of the trimester (I assume, I would ask them for a quote but I haven’t seen them since week 2 of statistics). Honestly, I left university feeling defeated, convinced I missed out on some bridesmaid-worthy connections I had been waiting for my whole life.

Well, there’s nothing like moving to a new city to make friends, right? Nowadays, Melbourne has approximately 107 run clubs, 48 female bonding groups, 26 speed dating associations*, and trivia nights aplenty; all great ways to meet people. I’ve attended some all-female friendship-making nights and met a couple of great people I still keep in contact with. 

Accompanying these chances to become a social butterfly, comes butterflies in my stomach. Generally, I’m confident and worry-free going into ticketed friendship events, mostly because they are all strangers and I’m a natural-born yapper. On the other hand, I worry that it will be myself and 29 people who have nothing in common with me, perhaps showing reasons why they are struggling in the friendship department or, I just don’t click with them.

I know I am very lucky in this life, moving to a city doesn’t mean all my other friends disappear. I have amazing co-workers who make corporate life enjoyable and lifelong friends that have stuck by me for decades now. What else could I have to complain about, I should be grateful right?

There isn’t a clear conclusion to this topic just yet. I am still in the throes of figuring out where to find “my people” and I know it can be a lengthy process. Although I am getting slightly impatient, I know life isn’t always perfect, we must work towards the things we want, not expect them hand delivered to us with a bow. There’s only so much power the sticky note with “I don’t chase, I attract” written on it, holds. At the same time, I wouldn’t recommend chasing after people you see friendship potential in either.